10 days? I’ll do 1, thanks.

(reblogged from my fetlife profile)

10 days? I’ll do 1, thanks.
Journal Entry | 2 Love It | about 1 month ago

Ok, so I do agree it’s not the worst thing to have the 10 day thing, but like my friend and fellow Delta Reprobate, Kanin, I know I won’t make the effort to login each day to post a new day, so here goes, all 10 at once!

Day One:
10 things you want to say to 10 different people right now.

Day Two:
Nine things about yourself.

Day Three:
Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four:
Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five:
Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six:
Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

Day Seven:
Four turn-offs.

Day Eight:
Three turn-ons.

Day Nine:
Two images that describe your life right now, and why.

Day Ten:
One confession.

10 Things to 10 people

1) Spaniard – I love you. You love me even though I have done everything I can to show you what a silly decision that is. Thank you for loving me.
2) Grant – I admire your organizational fetish.
3) Kanin – I admire your long game patience.
4) Rumpus – You rock, love!
5) Roxxanne – My twin, we are so alike and so different and I cherish that.
6) FNG – You had the balls to pursue me even when I did everything to try to put up a wall.
7) Delta Sigma – You are my family. I cherish each of you and all the shenanigans.
8) The old New England ALT Crew – You all took me in when I was new to New England even though I was an anomaly, I still value each of you and hold you as a friend.
9) Grace – your quiet nature belies what an articulate and thoughtful individual I have come to know of you. I am glad to count you among my friends.
10) Louisa – your off colour humor and constant smiles are infectious, and I love it!

9 things about The Poison Lady

1) I am 5’9”.
2) I have been into kink since I hit puberty more than half my life ago.
3) I was spanking ass before I lost my virginity.
4) I am the Honorable Pledge Mistress of a wonderful group of reprobates called Delta Sigma. (official title is Director of Membership)
5) I am polyamorous.
6) I have done porn and currently model pinup and fetish styles
7) I have a vice for corsets and lingerie.
8) I currently have 5 tattoos, and each means something special to me.
9) I am a great person to know and one you never want to cross.

Eight Ways to win my heart

1) Be an interesting conversationalist.
2) Teach me a skill.
3) Be of use to me.
4) Be sensitive but not an emotional mess.
5) Be able to take it.
6) Be able to dish as well as you take it.
7) Challenge me mentally and physically.
8) Take direction well (not necessarily submissive, but when I say something understand there’s a damned good reason.)

Seven things that distract me regularly

1) Hot Make-outs
2) Corsets
3) Fluffy things
4) “Am I really an adult?”
5) Shiny
6) The weather
7) What else I could be doing right now.

Six regrets

So, I don’t’ actually regret anything. There are some choices I wish I had made better, but the people we are is a sum of our experiences. That said here’s 6 decisions that weren’t the best.

1) Staying in an abusive relationship across 2 half country moves.
2) Allowing my family to abuse me under the ruse of family.
3) Moving to Texas (goes along with #1)
4) Allowing others to define me for a chunk of time (during which I met the person in #1)
5) Not making my needs known.
6) Not getting my needs met.

5 Gold Rings

• Spaniard
• Roxxanne
• Delta Sigma
• FNG
• Bear and Angel

4 Nos

1) Death
2) Dismemberment
3) Hubris
4) Lack of Common Sense

3 Yesses

1) Intellect
2) Resiliency
3) Hot breathy reactions

2 pretty pictures

So, since I’m actually doing this at work, I’ll have to post the pics at a later date.

And a partridge in a pear tree.

Bless me father for I have sinned, and I don’t’ regret a single thing.

My confession is that I am an imperfect being. I am unfinished and rough around the edges, and while I will push everyone away and keep them at arm’s length, I, too, need love and care.

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ChipIn for my new space!

Ok, so I’ve started a ChipIn page to raise money piecemeal for my new space.  I’m trying to start a multi-use space to host kink demos, parties, and general chicanery.

Please Help!

http://starlitmeow.chipin.com/a-new-space

Sexual education for your iPhone!

http://prmac.com/release-id-19757.htm

Texas Rabbi Creates Sex Ed AppHouston, TX Dec 22, 2010 in Education

[prMac.com] Houston, Texas – “An app that grows lesions is sure to get a young person’s attention” says Rabbi Amy Weiss, a Houston rabbi and executive director of Initiative for Jewish Women (IJW). Weiss is the creator of LoveSmarts, an entertaining iPhone app complete with an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infections) killing game to educate people about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases all in the name of tikkun olam, repairing the world.

LoveSmarts is a four part app that provides concise information about sexually transmitted infections and their symptoms, method of treatment and prevention; nine forms of contraception, cost, availability and effectiveness; a link with the Princeton University’s emergency contraception directory by zip code and a game that has a variety of viruses and bacterial infections that a player must kill with the correct “weapon” (antibiotics by injection or pills or topical creams or pills. The LoveSmarts app is available for $.99 through iTunes. Follow LoveSmarts on Facebook.

LoveSmarts is part of There’s Only 1U, the only medically accurate sexuality program taught within a framework of Jewish values. The Initiative for Jewish Women, creator and provider of the program feels strongly that knowledge is power and people 15-25 need to have private, fast access to medically accurate information. In addition to the app, IJW holds overnight retreats for Jewish teens ages 15-18 and offers puberty education for younger students.

Device Requirements:

iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad

Requires iOS 3.1.2 or later (iOS 4.0 Tested)

4.4 MB

Pricing and Availability:LoveSmarts 1.0 is only $0.99 USD (or equivalent amount in other currencies) and available worldwide exclusively through the App Store in the Education category.

LoveSmarts 1.0Purchase and DownloadScreenshotApp IconIJW is a non-profit organization that provides multi-generational programming for liberal Jewish women in Houston, Texas. In addition to sexuality programming, IJW focuses on mentoring younger Jewish women, both professionally and Jewishly and Undies for Everyone, an annual drive to collect new underwear and socks for disadvantaged elementary school children. IJW’s work has a strong focus on tikkun olam, repairing the world.

Copyright (C) 2010 IJW. All Rights Reserved. Apple, the Apple logo, iPhone, iPod and iPad are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. in the U.S. and/or other countries.

###

Rabbi Amy Weiss

Executive Director

713-398-5555

 

You fail at being a human, a follow-up

So, this is a follow-up to https://ladycyanide.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/this-morning-i-wake-up/

 

So, after posting the blog I did, I sent him the message below:

CyanideLady on 12/3/10 at 6:41 AM:

your message to my website is laughable at best. I read each conversation you had with him. Perhaps you need to check your facts.
Might I also remind you that it is you that wanted to be shat upon, and refused to tell the gf (who became magically non-existent when my boy had a problem with you cheating on her).
It really is no wonder that you have flopped around the way you have in this lifestyle.
Learn some manners.

 

Several hours ago I receive:

Jamiesav on 12/9/10 at 6:12 PM:
i would like to serve as a toilet boy

 

My response:

CyanideLady on 12/9/10 at 10:48 PM:

After the contact both My boy and I have had with you, and the subsequent drama, We are SERIOUSLY disinterested.
did you forget sending Me this:
i talked to your slave there about full toilet. He said I was rude. Brought up a girlfriend who I’m not even seeing. Accused me of saying I would keep it a secret from you. First you guys are the closeted freaks who want to shit on someone but don’t have the balls to do it. Give up. You don’t have what it takes. You will never make a good living Ms. LC is so fat she is the last person in the pecking order of dominants. Might as well put her name on the piggy list. Nobody likes you Ms. LC your too Fat.

 

His immediate response:

Jamiesav on 12/9/10 at 10:54 PM:
omg get over it that was days ago you’ll never get the chance to get a good guy like me your way too fat find a new career

 

My response:

CyanideLady on 12/9/10 at 10:58 PM:
you fail at being a functional human. Insulting Me is not the way to get what you want from Me.
you will never get to play with Me with that attitude. you are the one who continually messages both My boy and I asking to serve then insulting Me when W/we say no.
Grow the hell up.

This morning I wake up….

So, I still maintain my collarme.com profile.  It amuses Me the sorts of drivel I will occasionally receive.

There is a user Jamiesav (recently listing himself as a Dominant) who messaged Me about the scat slave position.  I calmly informed him that it was to serve My boy only and that I would have nothing to do with it but he could message M and work things out there.

Well, through conversation with M, turns out Jamiesav has a gf who knows nothing of his proclivities, and at the mere mention of telling her he gets very upset.  Jamiesav also seems to think that he can play with Me if he just doesnt’ tell Me what he does with My own boy!

Not quite the rocket surgeon (snerk), is he?

We do not play with people who are dishonest and who are shady.  Speaking of which as soon as My boy mentions that the lying to gf is a dealbreaker, suddenly Jamiesav is no longer dating the girl….hmm, shady.

Anywho, finally My boy turns Jamiesav down, in an overly polite way in My eyes, but My boy is the nicer of the two of us.

This morning I receive this in response to My website:

*————— Form Response —————
01 – Your Name: = james Savilonis
02 – Your e-mail: = savvy77@live.com
03 – Subject: = hi LC
04 – Message: = i talked to your slave there about full toilet. He said I was rude. Brought up a girlfriend who I’m not even seeing. Accused me of saying I would keep it a secret from you. First you guys are the closeted freaks who want to shit on someone but don’t have the balls to do it. Give up. You don’t have what it takes. You will never make a good living Ms. LC is so fat she is the last person in the pecking order of dominants. Might as well put her name on the piggy list. Nobody likes you Ms. LC your too Fat.*

Yeah, I’m amused considering up until very recently, I was, according to him, totally hot and sexy and he really wanted to play with Me and My boy.

Now, that I am not involved and we refuse to play with the likes of him for the above stated reasons, we have no balls, and I am too fat.

Hilarious.

Conclusions…

Being who I am, I have a lot of expectations of people, and over time I have found that some are unspoken.  That is fine for folks who know the rules of engagement in general prior to actual engagement (not the diamond ring sort…).

In the Trust post (https://ladycyanide.wordpress.com/2010/07/01/trust/), I was hurt and felt a tad betrayed by information not being levied in my direction at the earliest outset.  After some discussion, and a lot of back and forth it turns out that, while I thought it was clear what I wanted, it was not as crystal as I had thought.

Miscommunication is a horrible thing.

The person I had the issue with keeps his life very separated.  That is NOT how I do things, and while I understand that everyone has their own way of doing things, I really need the people in my life to be COMPLETELY open and honest AND forthcoming with me.  I need to know before things happen and I need to know all the things in your life whether you think they affect me or not.  They will, regardless of what you think.

The conclusion is that I understand I was not crystal clear about my requirements and that now that they are crystal, the next strike is the last one.

Stay tuned to the exploits and journeys that will ensue!

Trust…

Trust is huge with me.  Doubt is the worst thing you can cause.  When you bring doubt you make everything I feel invalid.  Anything positive crushes to and through the floor and my reaction is to cut that out of my life in short order.

Recently a new person in my life caused a serious amount of doubt through a series of things that weren’t said.

I feel like I’ve been lied to.  I feel like everything that was developing has been entirely false.  They feel like nothing has gone wrong and want to pretend nothing has changed.

This person neglected to tell me that they were dating someone.  Their profile is listed as single.  They, however cannot be honest with the other person as that person is jealous and painfully vanilla.

That sticks in my craw something fierce.  The one rule I have is honesty, forthright and total honesty.  This goes against that almost entirely.

I know that a few things are not going to change even if I continue to pursue anything with them, and yet a part of me wants to continue.  The more logical part of me says that the situation is irrevocably ruined, and I need to figure things out.  I think we can remain friends, but I’m not sure what else is possible now.

Stay tuned as I work through things.

This week…

So, I have had an interesting week.

I have spent a good portion of it waiting on everyone else.

  • waiting on answers about school
  • waiting on club owners to clean floors and move furniture
  • waiting on attendees to arrive
  • waiting on information about whether I walk in graduation

So, yes, a lot of waiting for so few days.

I am not patient.

My personality is such that when I say to do something, I expect it to be done.  I don’t want to hear that oh I did it, but then upon inspection it was clearly not completed.

I am in the process of taking over Footnight New England (http://www.footnight.com/ne.html or http://www.bostonfootnight.com).  It’s really not a bad gig and right up my alley as far as a co-mingling of fetish and business.  I just feel like I’m floundering a bit waiting for everyone to get back to me.

The event that was held on Wednesday, while not a roaring success still did fairly well.  My friend from school helped out at the door, one of my new boys was incredibly helpful in terms of cleaning up and stocking and running up and down extra flights of stairs.  I was happy with how it ran except for a small snafu, which I’ll get into in a few.  Setup for the event was a big hazy again because the floors had not been swept nor mopped properly, so that delayed my ability to setup when we arrived, but we got it done and well on it’s way to be pretty perfect.

Wednesday just had me finalizing food and a few stations that had be left as parts so the staff could re-mop.  I made it very clear that I was paying the full price of the club with the understanding that next time things needed to be ready to go when I arrived to setup and no slacking.  Last time I actually paid less than the agreed amount because of the same things happened but on a much worse scale.

So the snafu…

There is a process to become one of my models at my event.  You fill out an application, I have a quick dialog with you and then you are approved or not.  I had approved a new girl.  She showed up and I was certain a bit of something was off.  She wasn’t paying attention when my partner and I were going over the rules.  She was not being very friendly, either.  She brushed off the rules going, I’m a stripper I know the deal.

So, the night progresses, small things hiccupped but were handled in short order with no issue.  Then all of a sudden one of my models comes RUNNING into the social area of the club and grabs my partner (who has been doing these events for ages and is helping me with the transition) and literally drags her to one of the stations.

Now, this event is a foot fetish party.  There are waivers these girls AND guys signed stating very clearly NO SEXUAL CONTACT ALLOWED.

Tell me how this girl is going to convince this very sweet guy (I had talked to him a varying points in the evening and so had my other girls) to FINGER her!

HUGE NO-NO!  HUGE!

He was so very embarrassed he ran out of the club.  She played it off like it was nothing; like it was just another day on the job.

I was and still am livid about that.  How do you knowingly do something like that?  It was a goddamned privilege to be invited to my party and you go and fuck up royally.  That guy may not ever come back because of this.  I wasn’t able to catch his name and the other girls we’re able to remember it.  So on top of her indiscretion, she’s costing me business.

Do not fuck with my livelihood.

In any event, everything else went well, the attendance was lower than the last party but it was steady.  I think I’m going to have a goal of 30 for each party and a high goal of 40.  Both are reasonable numbers.  My newest boy was FANTASTIC!  He was so helpful and a super resource for me.  I think I’ll keep him!

So, Thursday I go to school, it’s my last day of the mod.  I still have 5 weeks to go because of a royal fuckup on the part of the education director.  I should be done, but I am not.  Annoying, but I’ve started to make peace with that.

There’s food and then a goddamned pinning ceremony.  The take pins and then say something “nice” about the person they are pinning.  My class and I are on tenuous ground.  I’m way smarter and far less tolerant of stupidity than almost anyone else they’ve ever met.  They speak incredibly poorly behind my back.  They are just rude, and I fear for the medical profession that these people will be in the field soon.  FEAR.

The career development guy loves me.  He has been working really hard on getting me exactly what I want and today actually ok’d me to apply for jobs at the place I wanted to work and for externship.  I’m actually pretty excited.

I also got the official word that I get to walk for graduation!  Finally something went right.

You’re also probably wondering, why the poly category, but no mention of poly yet.  Well, I’m getting there.

Thursday after the pinning ceremony, a new boy to me came over to hang out.  We had met before and as a result of a lost game of billiards I agreed to write a piece of erotica.  I got a 3 page part one completed and am working on part 2.

Yes, I’ll post it shortly.

Well, the new boy was supposed to go to Six Flags with a couple classmates and myself.

Yes, he’s a potential submissive play partner.

Yes, I actually am friends with my play partners.

Anywho, the weather forecast was saying that the park would likely have been closed down so we ended up chilling around my pool.  It was fantastic.  I think it went a long was to making him comfortable.  He has some issues with acceptance….as in being accepted, even accepting being accepted.

Well the happy poly moment was when he was sitting at my feet snuggling back on me and my bf was snuggling with his new boy (friend/thing).  It wasn’t awkward nor uncomfortable.  It was nice.  I think I really like the new one.  He’s fiesty.

So, the one who helped with footnight has a few issues to work out but he’s going to be fun also.

My little group is growing by leaps and bounds.  I’m happy in ways I couldn’t have been before.  Regardless of the trials and tribulations, I am still happy.

Shorter Updates