Toning

Ok, so I’m not actually trying to lose weight.  However, I am trying to get healthy and toned.

What does that mean?

Well, it means:

  • taking the stairs when I can
  • going for short walks a few times everyday
  • eating throughout the day, not just one large meal
  • Drinking more water.
  • Being more active.

Ok, so Before camp I was 397 lbs. (mid-may 2012)

Latex Dress Early May 2012

Camp 2012, 06/02

After camp I was 392. (Early June 2012)

Mid June 2012

Last week I was 387.  (mid-june 2012)

Today I was 385.  I have muscle tone in my legs where previously I had excess jiggly.  Not the sexy jiggly, the floppy jiggly.

Sorry no pic.

If this path continues by Camp 2013 I’m gonna be built like a brick shithouse!

HAH!

 

Loving

Ok, so the 200 Squat Challenge Post was actually a somewhat reactionary post to some things going on in my life as late. 

  1. My mother and I haven’t been speaking for some time now.  Again.  It happened after the Northeast Earthquake.  We reconciled tentatively until the hurricane (Irene?) where she got all super passive agressive again.  We haven’t spoken since except for a mass email I sent to family regarding not moving to CA and a thank you note I received for sending her flowers for her bday.
  2. California.  I love you.  I hate you.  So we got a “No”, but they are still interested to a degree, so we’re somewhat in limbo again.
  3. Work.  It’s like the School posts I made.  Exactly.  Except now I’m getting paid to deal with this crap.  Although not enough.
  4. Weight battles.  This will get it’s own bit below.
  5. Relationship battles.  Might get it’s own post.
  6. General Malaise. Will probably also get it’s own post.

Ok, so weight battles.  M has decided that he didn’t want to by bigger pants so he started to alter his diet some and has lost some pretty considerable amounts of weight.  I’m happy that he’s decided to be healthier, however, it’s been rough going.  M is a high-functioning Aspie, which sometimes leads to him not always catchign on to how something he says might affect soemone.  He knows I’ve had weight issues most of my life, mostly stemming from the wonderfully supportive (sic) family o’ mine.  So, the issue really began to rear it’s ugly head when he would say “Oh, let’s not have dinner at the restaurant we normally eat at b/c it’s too heavy,” or “Do you REALLY want an appetizer?  That’s a lot of food.”

He meant well, but that’s a far nicer way of saying things my parents used to say.  I was ok at first, but it kept eating at me.  I’ve been staying at the same weight range for most of the summer.  I’ve definitely lost some weight, but I hit my plateau.  I think it was mostly stress; between work and CA, I’ve had my share lately. 

Now, some of you might read this and go, WHAT?!  So, to pre-empt that, I still love myself.  I love me as I am, and my main plan is still to tone muscles rather than lose weight, but because of the things M would say I was freaking out in my head and starting paying way too much attention to my weight rather than how I feel.  I was pretty depressed for the past month or 2. 

I decided to just stop. 

M didn’t mean anything against me with his comments, but the combined stress and monotony and general malaise he and I had been experiencing led to a lot of issues including butting heads more than necessary, and lack of sex, and not going out and being bums; none of whihc helped my brain resist the spiraling of depression.  He really does still like me and want me and is attracted to me, but do you think my brain thought that?  Nope.

My brain doesn’t really factor compliments and criticisms in when it tallies my self-worth and self-esteem.  However certain comments can make it twitch a bit.  The funny thing is that even though I was depressed, I still had amazingly high self-esteem, I was just not my super bubbly self.

Ok, enough for one day.  Although in the future, I will be posting about nuymbers 5 and 6.

Mushrooom Lasagna

For the Meat: 

  • 3/4 pound 85% lean ground beef
  • 3/4 to 1 cup dry minced onions
  • 3-4 heaping tablespoons of minced garlic
  • Seasoned Salt

For the mushrooms:

  • 1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil
  • 1 small onion, coarsely chopped
  • 3 heaping tablespoons minced garlic
  • 1.5 pints baby bella mushrooms, sliced
  • Seasoned Salt
  • 1/3 cup Holland House White Wine with Lemon
  • 2-3 pinches Dried Thyme Leaves
  • Freshly ground black pepper

For the béchamel:

  • 1/4 cup extra virgin olive oil
  • 1/4 cup dried minced onion
  • 1/4 cup sifted all-purpose flour
  • 2 cups milk (may use low-fat milk)
  • Salt and freshly ground pepper

For the lasagna:

  • 1/2 pound lasagna noodles (10 strips Prince brand lasagna noodles)
  • 6-8 ounces Mozarella cheese, shredded
  1. Brown meat in a large skillet over medium-high heat.  Add garlic.  When halfway cooked, add the onion.  Lower heat to medium-low and simmer until fully cooked.  Remove from heat and set aside.
  2. Heat olive oil in a large, heavy skillet over medium heat and add the onion. Cook, stirring often, until tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the garlic, stir together for about 30 seconds, then add the mushrooms and salt to taste. Cook, stirring often, until the mushrooms begin to soften and to sweat, about 5 minutes. Add the wine. Cook, stirring, until the liquid boils down and glazes the mushrooms, 5 to 10 minutes. Add thyme. Bring to a simmer, add salt, and cook over medium-high heat, stirring often, until the mushrooms are thoroughly tender and fragrant and the surrounding broth has reduced by a little more than half, about 10 to 15 minutes. Remove from the heat, stir in some freshly ground pepper, taste and adjust salt.
  3. Meanwhile, make the béchamel. Heat the oil over medium heat in a heavy saucepan. Add onion and cook, stirring, until softened, about 3 minutes. Stir in the flour and cook, stirring, for about 3 minutes, until smooth and bubbling, but not browned. It should have the texture of wet sand. Whisk in the milk all at once and bring to a simmer, whisking all the while, until the mixture begins to thicken. Turn the heat to very low and simmer, stirring often with a whisk and scraping the bottom and edges of the pan with a rubber spatula, for 10 to 15 minutes, until the sauce is thick and has lost its raw-flour taste. Season with salt and pepper. Pour while hot into the pan with the mushrooms.
  4. Assemble the lasagna. Heat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Use Canola Baking Spray on a 9×12 Pyrex baking dish. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, salt generously and add lasagna noodles.  Cook only until flexible, and using tongs or a skimmer, remove from the pan strain into a collander. Place 3 noodles across the bottom of the greased dish.  Pour meat mixture into dish until a thin layer covers the noodles.  Put 3 more noodles across the meat. Spoon entire mushroom mixture on the noodles.  Place 4 noodles across the top.  Bake 30 minutes. Remove the foil.  Cover the top in Mozarella cheese.   Bake uncovered for 10 minutes.  Remove from oven and let sit for 5-10 minutes.  Serve hot or warm.

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Original recipe: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/12/health/nutrition/12recipehealth.html?_r=1&pagewanted=print

Mushroom Lasagna
By MARTHA ROSE SHULMAN
This lasagna tastes very rich, even though it really isn’t. It combines an olive oil béchamel with a simple mushroom ragout and Parmesan cheese. I prefer no-boil lasagna noodles because they’re lighter than regular lasagna noodles. But I still boil them because I think the results are better if they’re cooked until they’re flexible (a couple of minutes) first.

For the mushrooms:

1 ounce (about 1 cup) dried porcini or shiitake mushrooms

1 tablespoon extra virgin olive oil

2 shallots or 1 small onion, finely chopped

2 to 3 garlic cloves, minced

1 pound cremini mushrooms, sliced

Salt

1/2 cup fruity red wine, such as a Côtes du Rhône or Syrah

1 teaspoon fresh thyme leaves

Freshly ground pepper

For the béchamel:

2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

2 tablespoons minced shallot or onion

2 tablespoons sifted all-purpose flour

2 cups milk (may use low-fat milk)

Salt and freshly ground pepper

For the lasagna:

1/2 pound no-boil lasagna noodles

4 ounces Parmesan cheese, grated (1 cup)

A few leaves of fresh sage (optional)

1. Place the dried mushrooms in a glass measuring cup and pour 2 cups boiling water over them. Let soak 30 minutes, while you prepare the other ingredients. Place a strainer over a bowl, line it with cheesecloth or paper towels, and drain the mushrooms. Squeeze the mushrooms over the strainer to extract all the flavorful juices. If using shiitakes, cut away and discard the stems. Then rinse the mushrooms, away from the bowl with the soaking liquid, until they are free of sand. Squeeze dry and set aside. Chop coarsely. Measure out 1 1/2 cups of the soaking liquid and set aside.

2. Heat 1 tablespoon olive oil in a large, heavy skillet over medium heat and add the shallots or onion. Cook, stirring often, until tender, 3 to 5 minutes. Add the garlic, stir together for about 30 seconds, then add the fresh and reconstituted mushrooms and salt to taste. Cook, stirring often, until the mushrooms begin to soften and to sweat, about 5 minutes. Add the wine and turn the heat to high. Cook, stirring, until the liquid boils down and glazes the mushrooms, 5 to 10 minutes. Add thyme and stir in the mushroom soaking liquid. Bring to a simmer, add salt, and cook over medium-high heat, stirring often, until the mushrooms are thoroughly tender and fragrant and the surrounding broth has reduced by a little more than half, about 10 to 15 minutes. Remove from the heat, stir in some freshly ground pepper, taste and adjust salt.

3. Meanwhile, make the béchamel. Heat the oil over medium heat in a heavy saucepan. Add the shallot or onion and cook, stirring, until softened, about 3 minutes. Stir in the flour and cook, stirring, for about 3 minutes, until smooth and bubbling, but not browned. It should have the texture of wet sand. Whisk in the milk all at once and bring to a simmer, whisking all the while, until the mixture begins to thicken. Turn the heat to very low and simmer, stirring often with a whisk and scraping the bottom and edges of the pan with a rubber spatula, for 10 to 15 minutes, until the sauce is thick and has lost its raw-flour taste. Season with salt and pepper. Strain while hot into the pan with the mushrooms.

4. Assemble the lasagna. Heat the oven to 350 degrees Fahrenheit. Oil or butter a 2-quart rectangular baking dish. Bring a large pot of water to a boil, salt generously and add 3 or 4 lasagna noodles, just the number you need for one layer. Cook only until flexible, and using tongs or a skimmer, remove from the pan and set on a kitchen towel to drain. Spoon a thin layer of béchamel and mushrooms over the bottom of the dish. Top with a layer of noodles. Spread a ladleful of the mushroom/béchamel mixture over the noodles and top with a layer of Parmesan. Cook the next layer of noodles and continue to repeat the layers (I get three layers in my pan), ending with a layer of the mushroom/béchamel mixture topped with Parmesan. Cover with foil and place in the oven. Bake 30 minutes. Remove the foil, and if you want the edges of the noodles crispy and the top lightly browned, continue to bake uncovered for another 5 to 10 minutes. Serve hot or warm.

Advance preparation: The mushrooms can be cooked up to 4 days before the lasagna is assembled and baked. The béchamel can be made a day ahead. Whisk well and reheat gently before straining into the mushrooms and assembling the lasagna. The assembled lasagna can be tightly covered and refrigerated for a day before baking. Leftovers will keep for 3 or 4 days. Reheat in a low oven or in a microwave.

200 Squat Challenge

Ok, so recently, my bf started to cut a lot of crap out of his diet. This is great for him, he’s been taking off a lot of the weight he’d put on over the past couple years. The downside? I feel like total crap b/c I am simply maintaining my weight between the same 10 pound range.

It wasn’t such a big deal at first but then it became a big deal. I hit a wall and I’m just depressed now. I went from 393 to 365 back to 373 and have been holding between 365 and 375 for a couple months now.

I’m frustrated. It always happens to me. I lose sight of goals and focus on numbers and I truly blame my family for it. My bf doesnt’ mean to be a catalyst to this, but he is now. I hate it. It is my problem, but that doesn’t make it suck less.

Ok, enough back story.

I’ve decided to do the 200 squat challenge. I’m taking this week to gear up and check my levels over the week. I can guage what level I am in by taking it day by day all this week and that way I don’t start too high nor too low. I decided to do this particular challenge because it will help build my core as well as limberness in my legs. This is especially important if i’m going to do more Fetish videos.

http://www.twohundredsquats.com/

I hope this will get me back on a track of toning my muscles rather than focusing on losing weight.

I am starting to feel old…

Ok, we all get old, and granted I’m only gonna be 28, but I just found out that I’m going to need glasses. I have a very mild prescription, and am only supposed to wear them at night when I drive and only when I really need them.

It makes me feel a little old b/c I’ve always had really good vision.

I know……hush…..I already look good in glasses and I only need them sporadically…bah.

Sexual education for your iPhone!

http://prmac.com/release-id-19757.htm

Texas Rabbi Creates Sex Ed AppHouston, TX Dec 22, 2010 in Education

[prMac.com] Houston, Texas – “An app that grows lesions is sure to get a young person’s attention” says Rabbi Amy Weiss, a Houston rabbi and executive director of Initiative for Jewish Women (IJW). Weiss is the creator of LoveSmarts, an entertaining iPhone app complete with an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infections) killing game to educate people about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases all in the name of tikkun olam, repairing the world.

LoveSmarts is a four part app that provides concise information about sexually transmitted infections and their symptoms, method of treatment and prevention; nine forms of contraception, cost, availability and effectiveness; a link with the Princeton University’s emergency contraception directory by zip code and a game that has a variety of viruses and bacterial infections that a player must kill with the correct “weapon” (antibiotics by injection or pills or topical creams or pills. The LoveSmarts app is available for $.99 through iTunes. Follow LoveSmarts on Facebook.

LoveSmarts is part of There’s Only 1U, the only medically accurate sexuality program taught within a framework of Jewish values. The Initiative for Jewish Women, creator and provider of the program feels strongly that knowledge is power and people 15-25 need to have private, fast access to medically accurate information. In addition to the app, IJW holds overnight retreats for Jewish teens ages 15-18 and offers puberty education for younger students.

Device Requirements:

iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad

Requires iOS 3.1.2 or later (iOS 4.0 Tested)

4.4 MB

Pricing and Availability:LoveSmarts 1.0 is only $0.99 USD (or equivalent amount in other currencies) and available worldwide exclusively through the App Store in the Education category.

LoveSmarts 1.0Purchase and DownloadScreenshotApp IconIJW is a non-profit organization that provides multi-generational programming for liberal Jewish women in Houston, Texas. In addition to sexuality programming, IJW focuses on mentoring younger Jewish women, both professionally and Jewishly and Undies for Everyone, an annual drive to collect new underwear and socks for disadvantaged elementary school children. IJW’s work has a strong focus on tikkun olam, repairing the world.

Copyright (C) 2010 IJW. All Rights Reserved. Apple, the Apple logo, iPhone, iPod and iPad are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. in the U.S. and/or other countries.

###

Rabbi Amy Weiss

Executive Director

713-398-5555

 

I may be Poisonous, but I am not malignant

I got a call from the doctor… (https://ladycyanide.wordpress.com/2010/12/09/all-signs-point-to-cancer/)

Apparently it is not cancerous.  Thank the gods.  This means that I am not going to need to go back for any more surgeries on that particular mole.  I also do not need to go back for another year b/c my skin looked so awesome otherwise.

USE YOUR SUNSCREEN!

Shorter Updates