10 days? I’ll do 1, thanks.

(reblogged from my fetlife profile)

10 days? I’ll do 1, thanks.
Journal Entry | 2 Love It | about 1 month ago

Ok, so I do agree it’s not the worst thing to have the 10 day thing, but like my friend and fellow Delta Reprobate, Kanin, I know I won’t make the effort to login each day to post a new day, so here goes, all 10 at once!

Day One:
10 things you want to say to 10 different people right now.

Day Two:
Nine things about yourself.

Day Three:
Eight ways to win your heart.

Day Four:
Seven things that cross your mind a lot.

Day Five:
Six things you wish you’d never done.

Day Six:
Five people who mean a lot (in no order whatsoever).

Day Seven:
Four turn-offs.

Day Eight:
Three turn-ons.

Day Nine:
Two images that describe your life right now, and why.

Day Ten:
One confession.

10 Things to 10 people

1) Spaniard – I love you. You love me even though I have done everything I can to show you what a silly decision that is. Thank you for loving me.
2) Grant – I admire your organizational fetish.
3) Kanin – I admire your long game patience.
4) Rumpus – You rock, love!
5) Roxxanne – My twin, we are so alike and so different and I cherish that.
6) FNG – You had the balls to pursue me even when I did everything to try to put up a wall.
7) Delta Sigma – You are my family. I cherish each of you and all the shenanigans.
8) The old New England ALT Crew – You all took me in when I was new to New England even though I was an anomaly, I still value each of you and hold you as a friend.
9) Grace – your quiet nature belies what an articulate and thoughtful individual I have come to know of you. I am glad to count you among my friends.
10) Louisa – your off colour humor and constant smiles are infectious, and I love it!

9 things about The Poison Lady

1) I am 5’9”.
2) I have been into kink since I hit puberty more than half my life ago.
3) I was spanking ass before I lost my virginity.
4) I am the Honorable Pledge Mistress of a wonderful group of reprobates called Delta Sigma. (official title is Director of Membership)
5) I am polyamorous.
6) I have done porn and currently model pinup and fetish styles
7) I have a vice for corsets and lingerie.
8) I currently have 5 tattoos, and each means something special to me.
9) I am a great person to know and one you never want to cross.

Eight Ways to win my heart

1) Be an interesting conversationalist.
2) Teach me a skill.
3) Be of use to me.
4) Be sensitive but not an emotional mess.
5) Be able to take it.
6) Be able to dish as well as you take it.
7) Challenge me mentally and physically.
8) Take direction well (not necessarily submissive, but when I say something understand there’s a damned good reason.)

Seven things that distract me regularly

1) Hot Make-outs
2) Corsets
3) Fluffy things
4) “Am I really an adult?”
5) Shiny
6) The weather
7) What else I could be doing right now.

Six regrets

So, I don’t’ actually regret anything. There are some choices I wish I had made better, but the people we are is a sum of our experiences. That said here’s 6 decisions that weren’t the best.

1) Staying in an abusive relationship across 2 half country moves.
2) Allowing my family to abuse me under the ruse of family.
3) Moving to Texas (goes along with #1)
4) Allowing others to define me for a chunk of time (during which I met the person in #1)
5) Not making my needs known.
6) Not getting my needs met.

5 Gold Rings

• Spaniard
• Roxxanne
• Delta Sigma
• FNG
• Bear and Angel

4 Nos

1) Death
2) Dismemberment
3) Hubris
4) Lack of Common Sense

3 Yesses

1) Intellect
2) Resiliency
3) Hot breathy reactions

2 pretty pictures

So, since I’m actually doing this at work, I’ll have to post the pics at a later date.

And a partridge in a pear tree.

Bless me father for I have sinned, and I don’t’ regret a single thing.

My confession is that I am an imperfect being. I am unfinished and rough around the edges, and while I will push everyone away and keep them at arm’s length, I, too, need love and care.

ChipIn for my new space!

Ok, so I’ve started a ChipIn page to raise money piecemeal for my new space.  I’m trying to start a multi-use space to host kink demos, parties, and general chicanery.

Please Help!

http://starlitmeow.chipin.com/a-new-space

Loving

Ok, so the 200 Squat Challenge Post was actually a somewhat reactionary post to some things going on in my life as late. 

  1. My mother and I haven’t been speaking for some time now.  Again.  It happened after the Northeast Earthquake.  We reconciled tentatively until the hurricane (Irene?) where she got all super passive agressive again.  We haven’t spoken since except for a mass email I sent to family regarding not moving to CA and a thank you note I received for sending her flowers for her bday.
  2. California.  I love you.  I hate you.  So we got a “No”, but they are still interested to a degree, so we’re somewhat in limbo again.
  3. Work.  It’s like the School posts I made.  Exactly.  Except now I’m getting paid to deal with this crap.  Although not enough.
  4. Weight battles.  This will get it’s own bit below.
  5. Relationship battles.  Might get it’s own post.
  6. General Malaise. Will probably also get it’s own post.

Ok, so weight battles.  M has decided that he didn’t want to by bigger pants so he started to alter his diet some and has lost some pretty considerable amounts of weight.  I’m happy that he’s decided to be healthier, however, it’s been rough going.  M is a high-functioning Aspie, which sometimes leads to him not always catchign on to how something he says might affect soemone.  He knows I’ve had weight issues most of my life, mostly stemming from the wonderfully supportive (sic) family o’ mine.  So, the issue really began to rear it’s ugly head when he would say “Oh, let’s not have dinner at the restaurant we normally eat at b/c it’s too heavy,” or “Do you REALLY want an appetizer?  That’s a lot of food.”

He meant well, but that’s a far nicer way of saying things my parents used to say.  I was ok at first, but it kept eating at me.  I’ve been staying at the same weight range for most of the summer.  I’ve definitely lost some weight, but I hit my plateau.  I think it was mostly stress; between work and CA, I’ve had my share lately. 

Now, some of you might read this and go, WHAT?!  So, to pre-empt that, I still love myself.  I love me as I am, and my main plan is still to tone muscles rather than lose weight, but because of the things M would say I was freaking out in my head and starting paying way too much attention to my weight rather than how I feel.  I was pretty depressed for the past month or 2. 

I decided to just stop. 

M didn’t mean anything against me with his comments, but the combined stress and monotony and general malaise he and I had been experiencing led to a lot of issues including butting heads more than necessary, and lack of sex, and not going out and being bums; none of whihc helped my brain resist the spiraling of depression.  He really does still like me and want me and is attracted to me, but do you think my brain thought that?  Nope.

My brain doesn’t really factor compliments and criticisms in when it tallies my self-worth and self-esteem.  However certain comments can make it twitch a bit.  The funny thing is that even though I was depressed, I still had amazingly high self-esteem, I was just not my super bubbly self.

Ok, enough for one day.  Although in the future, I will be posting about nuymbers 5 and 6.

200 Squat Challenge

Ok, so recently, my bf started to cut a lot of crap out of his diet. This is great for him, he’s been taking off a lot of the weight he’d put on over the past couple years. The downside? I feel like total crap b/c I am simply maintaining my weight between the same 10 pound range.

It wasn’t such a big deal at first but then it became a big deal. I hit a wall and I’m just depressed now. I went from 393 to 365 back to 373 and have been holding between 365 and 375 for a couple months now.

I’m frustrated. It always happens to me. I lose sight of goals and focus on numbers and I truly blame my family for it. My bf doesnt’ mean to be a catalyst to this, but he is now. I hate it. It is my problem, but that doesn’t make it suck less.

Ok, enough back story.

I’ve decided to do the 200 squat challenge. I’m taking this week to gear up and check my levels over the week. I can guage what level I am in by taking it day by day all this week and that way I don’t start too high nor too low. I decided to do this particular challenge because it will help build my core as well as limberness in my legs. This is especially important if i’m going to do more Fetish videos.

http://www.twohundredsquats.com/

I hope this will get me back on a track of toning my muscles rather than focusing on losing weight.

How I spent my afternoon..

I sat there.

She was facing me.  Coy and round.  Her supple flesh begging for my touch.

I reached out, cupping her roundness in my hand.  Feeling the weight and texture on my palm.

I brought my other hand up, cupping the same bit of flesh, steadying it.  I dug my nails in until I felt them penetrates that soft covering.  Peeling it away revealing what I really wanted.

I discarded the covering and continued my delving into her sweet folds.  With a gentle finger I separated her folds peeling them away to get to the sweet juicy flesh beneath.

I took that sweet juicy part right into my mouth and bit down.  She exploded into my mouth and I smiled.

How could one not be happy when eating una mandarina?

(Yes, I just described peeling a piece of citrus and eating it.)

Sexual education for your iPhone!

http://prmac.com/release-id-19757.htm

Texas Rabbi Creates Sex Ed AppHouston, TX Dec 22, 2010 in Education

[prMac.com] Houston, Texas – “An app that grows lesions is sure to get a young person’s attention” says Rabbi Amy Weiss, a Houston rabbi and executive director of Initiative for Jewish Women (IJW). Weiss is the creator of LoveSmarts, an entertaining iPhone app complete with an STI (Sexually Transmitted Infections) killing game to educate people about contraception and sexually transmitted diseases all in the name of tikkun olam, repairing the world.

LoveSmarts is a four part app that provides concise information about sexually transmitted infections and their symptoms, method of treatment and prevention; nine forms of contraception, cost, availability and effectiveness; a link with the Princeton University’s emergency contraception directory by zip code and a game that has a variety of viruses and bacterial infections that a player must kill with the correct “weapon” (antibiotics by injection or pills or topical creams or pills. The LoveSmarts app is available for $.99 through iTunes. Follow LoveSmarts on Facebook.

LoveSmarts is part of There’s Only 1U, the only medically accurate sexuality program taught within a framework of Jewish values. The Initiative for Jewish Women, creator and provider of the program feels strongly that knowledge is power and people 15-25 need to have private, fast access to medically accurate information. In addition to the app, IJW holds overnight retreats for Jewish teens ages 15-18 and offers puberty education for younger students.

Device Requirements:

iPhone, iPod touch, and iPad

Requires iOS 3.1.2 or later (iOS 4.0 Tested)

4.4 MB

Pricing and Availability:LoveSmarts 1.0 is only $0.99 USD (or equivalent amount in other currencies) and available worldwide exclusively through the App Store in the Education category.

LoveSmarts 1.0Purchase and DownloadScreenshotApp IconIJW is a non-profit organization that provides multi-generational programming for liberal Jewish women in Houston, Texas. In addition to sexuality programming, IJW focuses on mentoring younger Jewish women, both professionally and Jewishly and Undies for Everyone, an annual drive to collect new underwear and socks for disadvantaged elementary school children. IJW’s work has a strong focus on tikkun olam, repairing the world.

Copyright (C) 2010 IJW. All Rights Reserved. Apple, the Apple logo, iPhone, iPod and iPad are registered trademarks of Apple Inc. in the U.S. and/or other countries.

###

Rabbi Amy Weiss

Executive Director

713-398-5555

 

Amusing evening anecdote…

I had to explain what I do to a longtime friend of my bf.  Their friendship dates back to grade-school and they are both approaching late 30s.  I had to stop before I said something and ask, “How much do you want your friend to know of what I do?”

Obviously, being such long friends, my bf was quite fine with me telling his friend about what I do (the modelling and fetish videos).

I had to chuckle to myself because I started to say something and had to pull myself back.  I realized that what I do is so natural to me that I really need to be careful in mixed company.  Not everyone approves of what is it that I do, and I do not want to alienate a loved one because of this.  I, very obviously, do not go spouting, “I do porn!!” in front of my bf’s mother, but in company with his friends I have to be a tad more careful.

 

You fail at being a human, a follow-up

So, this is a follow-up to https://ladycyanide.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/this-morning-i-wake-up/

 

So, after posting the blog I did, I sent him the message below:

CyanideLady on 12/3/10 at 6:41 AM:

your message to my website is laughable at best. I read each conversation you had with him. Perhaps you need to check your facts.
Might I also remind you that it is you that wanted to be shat upon, and refused to tell the gf (who became magically non-existent when my boy had a problem with you cheating on her).
It really is no wonder that you have flopped around the way you have in this lifestyle.
Learn some manners.

 

Several hours ago I receive:

Jamiesav on 12/9/10 at 6:12 PM:
i would like to serve as a toilet boy

 

My response:

CyanideLady on 12/9/10 at 10:48 PM:

After the contact both My boy and I have had with you, and the subsequent drama, We are SERIOUSLY disinterested.
did you forget sending Me this:
i talked to your slave there about full toilet. He said I was rude. Brought up a girlfriend who I’m not even seeing. Accused me of saying I would keep it a secret from you. First you guys are the closeted freaks who want to shit on someone but don’t have the balls to do it. Give up. You don’t have what it takes. You will never make a good living Ms. LC is so fat she is the last person in the pecking order of dominants. Might as well put her name on the piggy list. Nobody likes you Ms. LC your too Fat.

 

His immediate response:

Jamiesav on 12/9/10 at 10:54 PM:
omg get over it that was days ago you’ll never get the chance to get a good guy like me your way too fat find a new career

 

My response:

CyanideLady on 12/9/10 at 10:58 PM:
you fail at being a functional human. Insulting Me is not the way to get what you want from Me.
you will never get to play with Me with that attitude. you are the one who continually messages both My boy and I asking to serve then insulting Me when W/we say no.
Grow the hell up.

This morning I wake up….

So, I still maintain my collarme.com profile.  It amuses Me the sorts of drivel I will occasionally receive.

There is a user Jamiesav (recently listing himself as a Dominant) who messaged Me about the scat slave position.  I calmly informed him that it was to serve My boy only and that I would have nothing to do with it but he could message M and work things out there.

Well, through conversation with M, turns out Jamiesav has a gf who knows nothing of his proclivities, and at the mere mention of telling her he gets very upset.  Jamiesav also seems to think that he can play with Me if he just doesnt’ tell Me what he does with My own boy!

Not quite the rocket surgeon (snerk), is he?

We do not play with people who are dishonest and who are shady.  Speaking of which as soon as My boy mentions that the lying to gf is a dealbreaker, suddenly Jamiesav is no longer dating the girl….hmm, shady.

Anywho, finally My boy turns Jamiesav down, in an overly polite way in My eyes, but My boy is the nicer of the two of us.

This morning I receive this in response to My website:

*————— Form Response —————
01 – Your Name: = james Savilonis
02 – Your e-mail: = savvy77@live.com
03 – Subject: = hi LC
04 – Message: = i talked to your slave there about full toilet. He said I was rude. Brought up a girlfriend who I’m not even seeing. Accused me of saying I would keep it a secret from you. First you guys are the closeted freaks who want to shit on someone but don’t have the balls to do it. Give up. You don’t have what it takes. You will never make a good living Ms. LC is so fat she is the last person in the pecking order of dominants. Might as well put her name on the piggy list. Nobody likes you Ms. LC your too Fat.*

Yeah, I’m amused considering up until very recently, I was, according to him, totally hot and sexy and he really wanted to play with Me and My boy.

Now, that I am not involved and we refuse to play with the likes of him for the above stated reasons, we have no balls, and I am too fat.

Hilarious.

Sexually Transmitted Glitter

So, today is World Aids Day. I spend a lot of today reminding people that sexual health is important. This extends not only to being tested and proactive, but also to being free to explore and having freedom of sexual rights. Get tested, and get tested often, but also test your limits and try new things.

This brings me to the title of this post.

It is a follow-up to https://ladycyanide.wordpress.com/2010/12/01/it-hurts-so-good/.

So, as mentioned in my previous post, I was fairly horny when I got home. The boy had been home awhile and I walked in, dropped my stuff and announced, “I’m horny. I demand sexings!” I walk into the living room and the boy is snuggling the dog on the couch and watching the World of warcrack video how-to for the newly added plants versus zombies minigame.

He goes, “So, you are saying i should stop watching and come love on you?”

Reply, “Yes, you should stop watching your WoW video and come get naked with me.”

Boy pauses video and comes and gets naked with me. He asks if he should get a towel.

Now, for those of you who haven’t heard the stories, I can be a rather prolific ejaculator on occasion. I have ejaculated over the boy’s shoulder while he was kneeling in front of me nearly to full height (so that puts him between 4 and 5 feet tall on knees). I’ve also soaked through a really nice hotel mattress, to the point it was puddling on the floor beneath.

I said yes, he asks, 1 towel or 2. I said 1..

He proceeds to give me some really awesome lovin’, cut short only by the fact that when we actually began penetration, his ingrown toe (which has been acting up for a few days) started to bother him….so he, being the super awesome boyfriend he is, went back to going down on me.

Verdict: YES, I was very horny. Very.
Verdict, the second: Sexings are VERY good.
Verdict, the third: I should have used 2 towels.
Verdict, the fourth: I have sexually transmitted glitter to my boyfriend.

Yes, during our crazy humping I managed to transmit several bits of glitter from my luscious form to his. This became a real life re-tweet tweet. I’ve also made it a hashtag.

Personally, I think there needs to be more sexually transmitted glitter, it’s much safer than other sexually transmitted things, unless it gets in your eye and scratches your cornea. OUCH.

So, remember:

  • Get tested, get tested often.
  • Try new and amazing things.
  • Use the hashtag “#SexuallyTransmittedGlitter”

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