My last post was post #69.  BWAH HA HA.

So, for those who are unaware, all the ranting and whining I’ve been doing recently is related to a flare-up in my damaged nerves in my left arm. This is the first time since the accident that I’ve felt nerve pain like this in the arm.

Back in 2008 on my way home to NH following work in Cambridge, MA, I was in a car accident where my 2004 VW GTI (2-door hatch-back) was struck in the driver’s side door by a full sized Jeep grand cherokee driven by a Brazilian National (who was living in Massachusetts, and had the Jeep registered in his name at a MA address but was NOT a citizen of the US). This driver then spun into oncoming traffic and hit a box truck head on. He refused to give the cops on the scene his wallet for identification. Both he and the box truck driver were taken from the scene in ambulances. I drove my car away, as somehow I was about to walk and talk and while crunched, my car was only missing my driver’s window (half that glass was down my shirt). NONE of my airbags had gone off even though they were fully functional, nor was my car damaged beyond some minor body work and needing a replacement window.

About halfway back to my (at-the-time) girlfriend’s house after the accident (she lived about 10 minutes from my job, 5 minutes from the accident, and around the corner from the hospital I ended up at) I called her and told her to meet me at the ER, something was wrong.

Long story short, I was only a functional human being due to my training in the medical field that included first responder training. My pain levels were maxed, yet, I was fairly coherent, and not in shock even though, the Jeep and Box truck had totaled each other, and I had a pound and a half of shattered driver’s side window in my bra.

The damage I personally sustained were minor scratches and bruising on the outside. However, on the inside, I had broken the lower 3 of my left sided “true” ribs and the top 2 “false” ribs, and bruised the lower false rib and my floating ribs. I also partially dislocated my shoulder, which in doing so frayed the nerves of my left shoulder.

Since the accident I’ve undergone physical therapy on 3 separate occasions, had Xrays and US of the joint, and nerve conduction studies. I have damage, but haven’t torn anything. I even threatened the nerve doc that I was going to hurt him bc it was so painful to have the conduction study. All-in-all I was not damaged enough to warrant surgery but damaged enough to fuck with my life.

Normally, flare-ups require the occasional need for a wrist brace and resting of the arm, but nothing like this time where I was out of work for an entire week and cannot properly take care of myself. When I cannot do things for myself I get down on myself. I do not like NEEDING to depend on others for any reason. I like to have others to depend on, but generally do not need to ask for their help. This flare-up has been physical and mental torture for me. I feel useless, helpless and like a complete burden on those who have to take care of me.

I hope I’m better soon, and not the several months it took me to recover from the accident itself.

Also, pics are of my car pre-smash, and of me 1 week post-smash.

‪#‎TBT‬ ‪#‎nervepainsucks‬ ‪#‎medicalprofessionalsmaketerriblepatients‬1028071558 blend-1028071558a 0909082104 0909081939

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